Author: Jonathon

I’ve written this blog twice, and you don’t get to see either of them. My head’s gone too dark to share on the blog. Hell, it’s too dark except for a very short list of people. My husband knows, and my friend Shawn, but for the rest, even my closest friends, I don’t think they want to know how deep the wound, how dark the mood, how black the prospect. I feel like I’m a burden to them in this mood. Not fit company for man nor’ beast.

So what do you do when your mood is black, and you feel crushed under the burden of it all? I got on the treadmill for forty-five minutes it’s the longest I’ve managed since my ankle went funky on me. The treadmill helped me feel a little more human, and a little less dead. Then a bath, which is always a good thing. Then Jon, Trinity, me, and our friend, Richard, all went out to see the new Mummy movie. We enjoyed it. It wasn’t high art, but then, we didn’t expect it to be. It was fun, and exciting, and things blew up in a fun and cinematic way. We got to see Jet Li fight, and the movie was pretty much made for me when Brendan Fraser took his shirt off, and made out, a little, with his wife. (I’ve had a crush on Fraser since George of the Jungle, though I hear he’s really, really tall, like 6’ 4", or 5", if that is true, then he’s over my height prefence, but no one’s perfect.) I liked the plot idea of their son being all grown up and the changing of the guard. There are a lot of impossibilities in the movie, and don’t poke too hard at the logic, just go and have fun. I had fun, and that was what I needed.

Tomorrow I’m going to finish up some comic work that languished on my desk today. No more of that. I will pull my head out of my ass, and stop letting the monsters in my head win. There are days when the only way to stay ahead of the monsters is to keep moving. Tomorrow I move, both mentally and physically. Move, or die, like some kind of shark, though I heard that wasn’t true. That sharks having to move to live is an old wise tale. I’m sure I could look it up on the internet right now, and find several conflicting opinons, but I’m going to bed instead. Hopefully, a little sleep will help keep the darkness contained. Tomorrow is another day. If you’re an optimist, it means the day is all bright and shiny with no mistakes in it. If you’re a pessimist, it means it’s another chance to fuck things up. If you’re a realist, it means that some mistakes out live the day, and you’ll still be dealing with them tomorrow, but not sleeping won’t make them any less real, so you might as well sleep. Guess which flavor I am?

Full MoonSale, DragonCon Update, Swallowing Darkness New Cover and Banners, Caf? Press, Laughing Corpse Comic Special Offer, Falcata Times Interview, Screensavers
FULL MOON SALE
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Apparently some of the email services truncated the bit. So we are going to extend the sale on the Brett Booth Jean-Claude shirts thru the 20th to give everyone a chance.
Here’s a link:
https://www.laurellkhamilton.com/Merchandise/FullMoonSale1.html
If it doesn’t work for you, you can go to https://www.laurellkhamilton.com and click on the Store tab on the menu. It is last on the drop down menu.
DRAGONCON UPDATE
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I do not know how they are handling the signing. Ask when you register.
Laurell does not require a purchase to get her autograph. Nor does she charge for autographs.
DragonCon is in Atlanta Georgia August 29- Sept 1.
http://www.dragoncon.org/
Title: Dragon*AutoGraph
Description:
Time: Fri 02:30 pm
Length: 1 Hour
Title: Dragon*Con Opening Ceremonies
Description: Come join us for the hatching of the Dragon and celebrate the beginning of a spectacular convention.
Time: Fri 06:30 pm
Length: 0.5
Title: Night Bites
Description: Join some of the most influential authors of vampire fiction and learn the many ways the undead continue to enthrall readers.
Time: Fri 07:00 pm
Length: 1 Hour
Title: She Did What?!
Description: Sex in science fiction. Is it necessary? Does too much of it cross the line from sf/fantasy into…other things?
Time: Fri 10:00 pm
Length: 1 Hour
Title: 7th Annual Dragon*Con Parade
Description: Gather your costume and muster at 9:30 AM sharp in Woodruff Park and join our Grand Marshalls for the parade.
Time: Sat 10:00 am
Length: 2.5 Hours
Laurell will be riding in the parade. There will be a section for fans to march in. We will also have a banner to march behind. I don’t know how this works exactly as we have never done this before. So please be at the parade meeting spot and look for the banner.
Title: Dragon*AutoGraph
Description:
Time: Sat 02:30 pm
Length: 1 Hour
Title: Awards Banquet
Description: Join us and Master of Ceremonies John Ringo for our Awards Banquet. We’ll honor our 2008 Guests of Honor and present the Julie and Georgia Fandom Awards. With performances by Ghost Project and Robert Picardo!
Time: Sat 07:00 pm
Length: 2.5 Hours
Title: Should I Kiss Him or Kill Him?
Description: With todays very strong heroines, the question arises: What does the heroine do with the bad guy? Or–the ante-hero–or the hero? What’s expected of these female protagonists and how can you break those traditions–or adhere to them in new ways?
Time: Sun 10:00 am
Length: 1 Hour
Title: Dragon*AutoGraph
Description:
Time: Sun 01:00 pm
Length: 1 Hour
Title: Wait Until Dark
Description: The sun dips below the horizon…what creeps out of the darkness towards the tantalizing flesh of the human population?
Time: Sun 02:30 pm
Length: 1 Hour
Title: Laurell K. Hamilton
Description: A one-hour look into the dark and sensual worlds of Laurell K. Hamilton – author of the “Anita Blake” and “Merry Gentry” series.
Time: Sun 05:30 pm
Length: 1 Hour
Title: Dragon*AutoGraph
Description:
Time: Mon 11:30 am
Length: 1 Hour
The fan club will be present selling t-shirts and stuff and giving away goodies!
Wear an Anita or Merry shirt, one you bought or one you made and get a free t-shirt. While supplies last!
Don’t have one? Don’t worry, we will have free stuff for anyone who stops by to say hi. You can find us International Hall at the Marriott Marquis booth A-55
SWALLOWING DARKNESS NEW COVER AND BANNERS
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The cover for Swallowing Darkness has been redone. It comes out November 4, 2008.
Here is the new cover and a link to the banners. There are now 3 banner styles and 2 sizes for each:
https://www.laurellkhamilton.com/Merr…nessUS2008.jpg
Sorry, still don’t have the first chapter up, but hope to soonest!
CAF? PRESS
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Cafe Press has added a ceramic travel mug to their collection. We are offering a variety of designs on it.
http://www.cafepress.com/lkhprem
LAUGHING COPRSE COMIC SPECIAL OFFER
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For a limited time, get your beloved vampire hunter delivered right to your door! You’ll receive all 15 issues of Marvel’s comic adaptation of Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter: The Laughing Corpse for just $29.97! Save 50% Off Newsstand! All orders must be placed by September 9th, 2008. Don’t delay, subscribe today!
http://subscriptions.marvel.com/combo/Anita_Blake:_The_Laughing_Corpse
FALACATA TIMES INTERVIEW
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Falacata Times Interview is online!
http://members.lycos.co.uk/falcatatimes
SCREENSAVERS
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Screen Savers can be downloaded for free at the links below. But if you would rather have them on CD you can order them for $10 for both at
https://www.laurellkhamilton.com/Merchandise/OtherStuff.htm
SCREEN SAVER 1 – Mixed:
Mixed screen saver with Merry and Anita artwork and some photos of Laurell.
File name: LaurellScreenSaverSetup.exe
Click here or https://www.laurellkhamilton.com/ScreenSaver/LaurellScreenSaverSetup.exe
SCREEN SAVER 2 – Anita Quotes:
Quotes from the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter Series.
File name: AnitaQuotesScreensaverSetUp.exe
Click Here or https://www.laurellkhamilton.com/ScreenSaver/AnitaQuotesScreensaverSetUp.exe
This is a autoinstall program. Standard disclaimer applies
That’s it for this bit! Hope to see you soon at DragonCon.
Darla

Labels: author, bit, book, books, hamilton, k, laurell

My very first iPod has died. No saving throw. It’s simply gone. It’s the first piece of technology that I voluntarily purchased. We went to the Apple store and hoped they could save it, but my stalwart companion, who has seen many tours with me, is no more. It’s not alive enough for a burial; not heavy enough for a paper weight; but when it came time to trade it in for 10 % off of a new purchase, I could not do it. I put it in the pocket nearest my heart and brought it back home. Jon and I are half-jokingly talking about putting it in a lucite block. Probably it will go in a drawer somewhere in my office and sit, but this iPod joins a very short list of mechanical things that have transcended their nuts, bolts, and electronic beginnings to take on, in some way, a semblance of more.

My first mechanical affection was the first television set that I remember, well. It was a small black and white on a stand in a wooden case. It was actually carved and a little ornate. When I was still too young for school, I named the television, Charlie. When things were bad, Charlie always had something cheerful, or interesting to show me. There aren’t many friends that are as dependable as that little television was. Charlie got replaced by a newer, color set, but my grandmother put him in the spare bedroom, and used him like a table. I left him when I moved away from home; I don’t remember him being offered to me. I eventually years later bought my grandmother a really nice, large television for the living room, but Charlie was still in the bedroom covered in bric-a-brac, and doilies. He may still be there, though I’m not certain that my aunt has kept him in his place.

My second mechanical fling was my first car. It was an Omega, and it was second hand, but I loved that car. Her name was Meg. I was sixteen, and it meant that now my grandmother and I could drive ourselves places. We were no longer at the mercy of other people’s schedules. No matter how kind the rest of the family was, it was still a lot of waiting, and feeling like the poor relative. Everyone was very nice about it, but I, and Granny, felt the lack. When I turned sixteen and got my license we had freedom. Here in the U. S. you need a car outside of maybe a handful of cities. When I had to trade her in for a new car after I got married, the first time, I laid my face on the hood and actually cried, as I said good-bye.

Third, was my typewriter. It was a hand me down from my Aunt Juanita, now that her girls didn’t need it for school anymore. I wrote my first stories on it. It is in the storage room, of this house, as I type this, even though I know that I will probably never use it again. When the time came to part with the old manual, I couldn’t bear it.

Fourth, my first lap top. Strangely, not my first computer, because I shared that with my first husband, so it wasn’t mine. The lap top was mine. No games were ever played on it. Nothing was ever put on it, but my stuff. It was mine. I kept it for fourteen, or fifteen years before it finally gave up the electronic ghost. (Yes, it was a very long time for a lap top to keep working.) Jon finally talked me out of it, because it was starting to do the things that computers do before that last big crash. I let that one go, and we got a new one. Jon even finally persuaded me to get a desk top, as well, which is what I’m typing on right now. But that first lap top, was mine in a way that the others are not. The lap top was never part of a computer network. It was never linked up to anyone to share files. It was my little isolated world, and I liked it that way back then. Both of the computers I have now are all shared with Darla, and Jon, and even Charles has come and worked on them. The first lap top was shared with no one. Strangely, I never named it.

I would have counted the Foose mustang as fifth, but the iPod is older than the car. I do love the Foose. It is the Baby. I love the roar of the engine, the feel of the road under the wheels, and the reaction you get from people. I love the way the car gleams in the sunlight, and I watch it’s rear end the way I watch my husband’s; that nice proprietary that’s-mine-feeling.

But today is about my fifth gadget crush, not the Baby. I didn’t know I liked my iPod this much until it wouldn’t work. The gray screen of death, and there was no saving it. It’s internal workings have gone off, and so we bought a new one for me. It’s a generation, or two, newer, but it’s not my first love. That slim, black, nano will lie in a drawer at my desk, until I can either bear to part with it, or figure out something to do with it. A lucite block would just be silly; wouldn’t it?

Some bits of tech and mechanics rise above their origins, and like the Velveteen Rabbit, they become alive for us. My iPod was my comfort on many a flight, and my de-stress on many a day. I raise a virtual glass in one last toast to my slim, mechanical, companion; no longer functioning, but not thrown away.

What to do to celebrate finishing, Swallowing Darkness? (Okay, finished except for the next round of edits and the research that’s still pending, but that can all wait for a few days. No, really it can. My sanity says it can.) So, what to do to celebrate?

I thought about getting a tatoo. Does that let you guys know how really drained I am. I’ve never even pierced my ears, and I’m thinking of getting a tattoo this weekend. No, Laurell, don’t do it. Actually, a good friend of ours, Pili, who was once a tattoo artist, drew on us with markers and pens some designs. Her rule is that you have someone draw it on you, so you can wear it for awhile. Then if you don’t like it, no harm, no foul, but if you do like . . . You get it drawn on one more time. Then if you still like it. You wait for a few weeks. Then, if you STILL like the design, you can find a really good tattoo artist (we’re going to take Pili’s recommendation on that), then you get your tatoo. Jon and I’ve found an image we like, but we need one more drawing and to think it over. I was all set to do it this weekend. Jon said, no. Cooler heads have prevailed, and we’ll wait. I’ll see if Pili can draw it again this weekend, then we’ll wait until after DragonCon, I think. It’s only two weeks, or so. If we don’t change our minds sometime in September we’ll decorate ourselves permenantly. Said, that way, it makes me wonder, but . . . We’ll see.

So, if we can’t tattoo ourselves to celebrate, what can we do? Well, what we did do, was go gun shopping. I haven’t been happy with the Kahr since I bought it. The size is right, and feels okay in my hand, and it’s okay to shoot, but it’s not fun to shoot, and it’s damn stiff. Also, it just doesn’t fill me with the same emotion that the Browning BDM does. I bought the guns at the same time and I’m happy with the BDM, but still unhappy with the Kahr, so we went shopping for it’s replacement. Something small, concealable, but not with so much kick I’m going to be fighting the gun while fighting bad guys.

Charles and Shawn all gave us the same list of guns. When two ex-military, one ex-cop, and one current policeman; give you the same list, then you pay attention. We ended up with the Smith and Wesson M&P 9c. It’s sitting beside me on the desk, as I type this. I find that when I buy a new gun, I like to keep it close by for a few days. It’s unloaded, and even though Jon brought it to me from the gun safe and I trust him implicitly, I still popped the magazine, put the slide back, and rechecked. Safety, safety, safety; if you can’t be safe then you should not own a gun. It’s not a toy, no matter how fun I think they are; it’s a tool.

I look at the compact, black shape between my arms, with it’s barrel pointed at my keyboard, and find it . . . elegant. Elegant in the way of a good tool. Others might find the S&W a little blocky, but not me. I like it. Though, let me just say that low rise pants with an inner pants holster are not a good idea. Hard to draw the gun, and I suspect, if you wore the holster long enough you’d chaff. Unless you’re willing to have your underwear show above the pant’s line, which I hate. So, what to do? Get different pants, or a different holster. I always learn something new when I try some of the equipment that Anita will be using. It’s one of the reasons I try to do my research, because it adds. If I can hold it in my hand, try to wear it on my body, then when I next sit down to write, that bit of knowledge will be on paper, and you guys will get a more realistic world to play in.

We have a new cover for SWALLOWING DARKNESS. The first cover was pretty, but one of the problems with doing covers ahead of finishing a book, is that sometimes they just don’t work with that particular novel. Then you read it, and you get better ideas. Both my editor and everyone in the art department at Ballantine thought of a really cool idea. This cover actually has an image pulled from the story, and it simply works. This is the cover for SWALLOWING DARKNESS. I like this one as much as the cover for A LICK OF FROST, and I liked that cover a whole lot.

Here it is; for your viewing pleasure:

Also check out Darla’s photobucket for the new banners.

The book is off to New York. Hallefreakingluiah! I’m so tired I can’t see straight. Jon’s not much better. The only down side to bringing him into more of the editing and research work is that when I finish a book he’s a beat as I am. It used to be only me walking around like some kind of catastrophe survivor, now it’s both of us.

I celebrated yesterday afternoon by retiring to the bath. We all have our little indulgences, I hit nearly all of mine. A hot bath, a good book, really good chocolate, cold bottled water (that whole not drinking thing), and a bath tub that has enough water jets to beat the aches out of my muscles, and some happiness into the rest of my body. I love our bath tub. I was pretty brain fried, but I knew I needed to read somebody else’s book. Something I didn’t have to come up with, was what was needed. I chose a Robert B. Parker book that I’d read once before, but he’s one of my favorite writers, and his Spenser series bears repeating. Then bed at an early hour for both my husband and me, and some relax time.

We got to stay in bed a little later than usual, but not much; when you have children you really don’t have an option. But that migraine that I had a few days back, is hanging on, which means it’s probably a stress headache and not a migraine, though sometimes I’d love for a doctor to explain the difference. There really are differences, but to the patient, it feels damn simular. You just don’t get the sensitivity to light, the halo effect, or some of the other goodies. But it still feels like my whole body has a hangover. It may be in part allergies, but I’m betting stress, and just a human body not being made to sit at a desk for hours at a time. Jon and I did manage to take a nap in the afternoon and felt some better. But as I type this, early bed sounds very good.

I’m actually taking a few days off. Today was one. Tomorrow maybe I’ll actually go to the plant store, or see one of my friends in person instead of just on the phone. Usually I flounder when I finish a book, but this time all I want to do is sit and stare at nothing for a few days. I want to do things that have nothing to do with writing. I don’t want to have to come up with an idea, or a solution to a plot point, or discover that transition to that moment of character development. I want to read other people’s books, watch the television we’ve had to record but not watch, visit with friends, and do things with my husband that don’t involve work.

Friends and family are urging us to go away on a trip for a few days. Maybe later. Right now, the thought of planning even a fun trip just makes me more tired. Jon just let me know that dinner is ready. He grilled. I cut and diced. Team work.

Three new chapters. Finished about ten something last night. So tired, I started startling from seeing those dark things out of the corner of my eyes. Sleep was good. But book, not quite finished. Checking the military stuff, or rather double and triple checking it. I’m always painfully aware that I am a civillian. I think it’s one of the reasons I always write from an outsider point of view rather than a typical law enforcement officer, or soldier, because I know I’m not either of these things.

The book will get to wing it’s way to New York today. God willing. My mood is dark, and not in a good, happy way. But part of how you deal with it, is embracing the fact that you are a moody bastard, and bear that in mind on the days when the mood gets ugly. Don’t take it out on anyone else, and find an outlet that isn’t self-descructive. This is one of those days when I understand why Hemingway was a drunk, and why one of the most common problems for almost any artist is addiction of some kind. You just want something to make it stop for awhile, or to lighten the darkness. You think of that first drink as lighting a candle against the night, but in reality it’s the beginning of setting your world on fire just to watch it burn. Artists are always tip-toeing on the edge of the abyss, never give yourself a push, which is what all addictions are. But just because I don’t do all the bad habits, doesn’t mean I don’t understand the attraction of them sometimes. But if you’re never tempted, then you aren’t really behaving. Only those who are tempted and turn away, know that they are strong. Today, I will not take my temper out on anyone, not even myself. Today, I will not pull some bad habit around me like a warm blanket, and hide behind it. Today, I will experience my mood, and not self-medicate, or look away. An artist learns from their pain and their darkness, as much as their happiness and light. Never do anything that takes away your ability to feel it all. Good, bad; ugly, beautiful; happiness, sorrow; horror, awe: it all goes into the mix. I will let this rage wash over me. I will let it soak into my pores, and remember that the rage belongs to me; I do not belong to it.

(Let me add that medication for depression or anxiety is not a bad habit. If your doctor says you need it, you need it. Don’t let anyone else talk you out of what works for you; not even me.)

I’m feeling a little less than inspired today. I had my MRI yesterday. Not the most fun I’ve ever had, but not the least either. They gave me head phones and a choice of music to listen to, in an attempt to drown out the rather horrible noise of the machine. But somewhere in the middle of the CD, it stuck. It stuck in the middle of a drum solo. So, I was trapped, unable to move without risking ruining the image, with the noise in my ears now more irritating than the machine itself. Eventually, the technician realized what was wrong and fixed it, or maybe it was my careful, but plaintive bids for attention. Anyway, I don’t have to do that today. That’s a big plus.

I’m sitting at my main desk with several things to help inspire me scattered around where I can see them. A quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, "Do one thing every day that scares you." I’m wearing one of my favorite dog t-shirts. It has a Newfoundland on it. I find on days when I feel like I’m drowning, that it’s a good shirt to drag me back from the ocean, and get me safely ashore. I’m also wearing a button that I probably won’t wear out of the house, it reads, "My sexual preference is often." It made me laugh out loud when I found it in the card store. And I need both serious reminders like the Roosevelt quote, and laughter to get me going today. I also have a card Jonathon bought me; it’s one of those musical cards, and I’ve got it propped right next to the keyboard. What does the card play? "Wild Thing" ; the original sound bite by The Troggs. (Jonathon is off playing Indiana Jones Lego with Trinity. Besides, I think today I need the office to myself, or to free him up from hand-holding.) I also have the new cover mock-up of the cover for SWALLOWING DARKNESS. I don’t know if Darla has put it up, yet, but it’s way cool. I’ve put it by the computer to remind, and inspire me.

Just a few days ago looking at the cover made me feel pressured. I wasn’t quite finished and here’s the cover; ahhh! But my new attitude is to enjoy, rather than stress. Stress has become my natural state, but it wasn’t always like that. I want to enjoy my career again, not just treat it like a new stone in my back pack. Friday, we went to our favorite metaphysical store, and I was so despairing about finishing this one scene that I got candles to help me renew my passion in my job. (Most people use "passion" candles for relationships issues, but that’s working just fine. A flesh and blood husband is much easier to be inspired by than imaginary friends on paper.) But the thought was right. I need to renew my passion for my craft. I need to rediscover those small pleasures you take. In an effort to do this, one of the things I did when I was editing Merry was to mark sentences or paragraphs that I thought were really nice, and make a list of them. It was a way to remind myself that I’m pretty darn good at my job, and I really do enjoy it. Sometime closer to the book release I’ll do a blog with the bits and pieces. Though I had to be careful that they aren’t bits and pieces that will give anything away. SWALLOWING DARKNESS is a very plot thick book. I’ve been so busy writing and editing, that I’ve forgotten why I wanted to do this in the first place. Love.

I love to write. I love my characters, my worlds. I love discovering new things about old imaginary friends. I love building a world that never existed, and having my literary creations go from just words on paper to actually being real enough that I miss them if I haven’t been writing them in a few months; the way you miss a friend you haven’t gotten to talk to. I’ve allowed deadlines and the pressure of success (and anyone that doesn’t think that is pressure, wait until you get there), to steal away the pleasure that I once took in my work. Well, no more. I am going to try and recapture the joy I once felt. It’s still in me, when I stop panicking. When I finish the edits on this book, I’ve promised myself a few days off before I head back into the next Anita book. I don’t know what I’ll do with time off, and the problem is that it’s not really time off, anymore. I can stop work on a book, but there is always the comic book, interviews, questions from editors, my agent, just all the people that are coming into my circle of business. I love all the possibilities that are coming my way, but I need to be able to embrace them with joy, not stress.

I’ll leave you with a quote, "The maker of a sentence launches into the infinite and builds a road into chaos and old night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Gosh, that sounds almost intimidating for me and a blank screen, so let’s do one more quote. "Don’t say the old lady screamed – bring her on and let her scream." — Mark Twain.

That’s better; I can do that. I’ll try for the infinite road into chaos and old night, but in the end, no matter how pretty the prose, if the reader can’t hear the screams, smell the grass, and feel the blade edge so clearly, that they fear they may get cut, too, then it’s all for nothing. Be pretty, hell, be beautiful in your writing, but remember, always, that if the reader can’t feel it, taste it, touch it, smell it; then it’s just pretty words, when what you want is the world to be so real it breaths around the reader. You want them to startle when the lady screams, as if she were standing right behind them.

Okay, I’m back to being intimidated, but it’s still the truth. I’ll go try and make my lady scream.

Edits still not quite done. Migraine waylaid me. A little better now, but even the opening ceremonies of the Olympics can’t make me feel well enough to keep powering through all this. I’m so tired I was falling asleep, and fighting to stay awake has made my stomach begin to conspire with my head, to tell me it’s past time for bed. But, I did watch our team march across the field. No matter how you feel about certain politics and environmental issues, China’s opening show was spectacular. The next country to host the Olympics is going to have a very high bar to top for the opening moments.

I’ve tried to write more, twice, but I’m too tired to discuss politics in detail, or environmental issues when I’m feeling this bad. I’m too bed. I used all my stamina getting the edits almost done today.