I’m sitting in the sunshine on our patio listening to our water garden sing down the stones, with our pug, Sasquatch in my lap. He’s been my office dog since he was twelve weeks old. He’s fourteen years old now, and will be fifteen this summer. He’s the oldest dog I’ve ever owned from puppy to now. We had a rescue, Jimmy, that we got at age ten, and he made it seven more years, but we never saw him when his paws were soft, and he was all uncertain of the world. Jimmy was decidedly himself when we rescued him on his last day from a kill shelter. Sasquatch was all puppy uncertainty as we let him sniff his mother good-bye and took him with us in the car. 
He is an old dog now, our oldendogger. I can’t imagine waking up without him in the house, but I know it’s coming. Even now his heart beats frantically against my hand, the rhythm of it is unsteady and unfamiliar. I know his heart beat almost as much as I know my husband’s, and this is not it. We took him with us to lunch and sat outside at a table with him. The four of us took turns holding him so the others could eat. Yes, he got scraps and probably got more chicken than he normally does at a meal, but that’s okay, roast chicken and a little bit of chips won’t hurt him. He’s always been a good dog, easy going, letting us use his paws to do the YMCA song by the Village People when he was a puppy. Yes, I’m that kind of dog person. If you don’t do silly things with your dogs then we are not the same kind of dog people and you may want to skip the rest of this essay, because much sentimentality may ensue.
I wrote the above on a day when we thought Sasquatch would pass on his own, in his own time, but it turned out to be an upper respiratory infection and antibiotics helped him get better. Every day after that has been a gift, but today is the last day. Today will be Sas’s last day. He’s stopped eating, even his favorite treats cannot tempt him. Any of you that have ever owned a pug know that a pug that will not eat is a very sick pug indeed. Pugs will eat until their stomachs explode, no joke, but Sas is only taking water, lots of water. He continues to lose weight, and for the first time ever he has a wasp waist, stylish if you’re a Weirimer, but pugs are meant to be square, not round, not fat, but blocky and solid. When I pick him up now he is too light, I can feel his bones and tendons under my hands, against my arms. He is wasting away and we cannot save him.
We knew something was wrong, but finally got tests back a few weeks ago that is was cancer. If he’d been a younger dog we would have risked the surgery to remove his spleen and take a bigger sample of his liver, but the chances of him surviving the anthestia was very low, so we chose to treat the symptoms, but not actively treat the cancer. He’d already been losing some control of his bowels, but there are doggy diapers, not sure how he felt about his curly pug tail sticking out of the ridiculous things, but he took it like he takes most things, patiently, good naturedly, trusting that his humans know what they’re doing. I hope we do. I know we try to be worthy of the level of trust he places in us.
His back legs have been giving him trouble for awhile, but now they are going out from under him. He doesn’t so much lay down as collapse. He woke my husband, Jon, and I up about every hour from 1:00 AM this morning. Jon got up twice, and so did I. The first time I came back to bed I put Sasquatch up on the bed, which I knew was a bad idea, but I wanted him to sleep in the bed one more time, he loves it so. By the time I could no longer sleep about 5:30 he was deeply asleep on the corner of the bed. We had two of our younger dogs with us, too. Mordor and Keiko, both Japanese chins, good naturedly went out every time we took Sas out, but this time they were solidly asleep, too, so I left them with Jon and went downstairs to start tea, breakfast, the day.
Unless the veterinarian tells us some miracle later today, I know this will be Sas’s last day, because I called and made the appointment when I got up with him about 4:00 or 5:00 this morning. His vet isn’t on duty today, but she won’t be in until Friday, and it’s Thursday, we can’t make him suffer for another day just for a different doctor to help us, it wouldn’t be fair to him.
Jon texted me about thirty minutes later that Sas had thrown up. He’s been doing that for a few days now. By the time I came upstairs with new paper towels he’d also lost control of his bowels on the bed. Why wasn’t he in a doggy diaper? Because I knew this was his last time to sleep on the bed with us and somehow I just wanted him to be as comfortable as possible, and the diapers are for our benefit, not his, so I didn’t put it on him. I started cleaning up the blanket and Sas, Jon took Keiko and Mordor downstairs, and then came back up to help strip the bed. The bed clothes are in the washer now. Sas is asleep at my feet in my office with me, which is one of his favoritest places in the world. He’s always loved coming to work and has spent many a dawn and late night at my side while I wrote. I’ve already carried him to his favorite dog bed in the family room, and put him in his favorite bed here, but he’s chosen to lay on the floor which he almost never does. I even put a dog bed under my desk so he could use it, but he chose the floor at my feet. Keiko is in the bed, because chins are just as comfort loving as pugs. Mordor stayed in the kitchen with Jon which is unusual, because both the chins love to come to the office. Heck, the two big dogs are learning to love it, too, and there are days when I have all five dogs curled around me as I write. The two big dogs are with Genevieve and Spike in another bedroom. We all discussed it, and there’s no need for all of us to have this kind of disrupted night, but more than that we still don’t have a bed big enough for four adults and five dogs, and last night was about Sasquatch. He needed his corner of the bed, and just the little dogs, because sometimes the new bigger dogs are just too physical for him now.
Sas helping me write in better days.Pugs are very stoic dogs, they don’t show pain much, so we have no way to be certain how much pain Sas is in, but he’s started staring into space in that way that some animals have when something hurts as if the pain is something they can see off in the distance, or maybe they see the end of the pain, I don’t know. This morning we carried him downstairs every time, because the stairs are beyond him now. For his last morning in the office with me I carried him up the stairs which I hadn’t had to do since he was a very little puppy and couldn’t quite manage them safely on his own. Now, as our oldendogger, he can’t manage them safely again.
Our daughter, Trinity, is home from college, so she’ll get a chance to say, good-bye. She got to dog sit Sasquatch this long weekend past while the four of us went on a retreat. It gave her some serious quality time with Sas. The other four dogs went to the puppy spa, but we wanted Sas to be at home with familiar things and people.
I’ll sit on the couch with him later today in his favorite spot which is a combination of mom’s lap and the corner of the couch near the arm. He’s on his third couch for this lifetime and he always chooses the same spot no matter if it’s the original green couch, or the red couch, or the new gray one. They all have arms and a spot where he can tuck himself in, so he does, with, or without a lap to snuggle into, though Trin informed me that he found her lap a suitable substitute, so maybe it’s not mom’s lap, but just whoever sits in his spot. Maybe to Sasquatch it’s never been him sharing my spot on the couch, but him sharing his spot with me, or whichever of his people was sitting in his spot.
Tomorrow his spot on the couch will be empty, his favorite dog beds filled by the other dogs, no eager pug face waiting for treats, cuddles, pets, and to curl up beside me. We will be a pugless household, for me that will be a first in almost thirty years. I don’t know how I will bear it.
New meds helped Sasquatch to recover himself for a few weeks after I wrote this blog. He never had another night where he threw up, or lost control of himself. He started eating again, though only soft food, and only certain foods. He liked cooked green peas mixed with his meat, not sure why, but we fed it to him, because that’s what you do. But now, we are back to him refusing all food, even cooked peas and chicken. For the first time he’s not even drinking water, so that’s it. We might find another round of miracle meds to help him limp on a few more days, but to what purpose? There comes a point with a beloved pet where you have to ask yourself, am I doing this for them, or for me?
I’ll carry Sas over to the office one last time, because he can’t get over here by himself anymore. It’s not just stairs now, but even walking across the floor is hard for him. We’ll all say good-bye today, and this evening we’ll take him into the vet and it will done. I’m trying to be very unemotional about it all, but what I wrote earlier is very true. We will be a pugless household by tomorrow and even with four healthy, wonderful dogs remaining to give doggy kisses, beg for belly rubs, play with their favorite toys, fill the dogs beds, go for walks, its not the same. For all of you that have found “your breed”, you know what I mean. YOUR BREED, should always be in capital letters, because it is a profound bond not just to a particular dog, but to all the dogs everywhere that look like your dog. Genevieve and Spike are members of the Church of Dog, but they are new to our denomination of Pugdom. They brought two wonderful mutts into our lives, but neither of them has found “their” breed for certain. Jon, Trinity, and I have been pug owners for a lifetime, literally in Trinity’s case, and tomorrow we will not be. Japanese chins are a close second for us, but we always saw us with chins and pugs, never without our snoring, snuffling, wrinkly faced, rolling-gaited, curly-tailed, pugs. It somehow makes losing Sas feel even more awful, because there is not another pug to come home to, once we say, good-bye to our fuzzy pug boy.
The End: All five of us went with Sasquatch on the last trip to the vet. When the time came, I held him in my arms, made sure my skin was close to his nose so he would have my scent, and know for certain that I was there. He went very quickly, so fast the vet was surprised. She double checked his vitals, but he was gone, so ready to go that he didn’t even wait for all the anesthetic to be administered. She used it all, just in case, but Sas wasn’t there. He was already somewhere else, where nothing hurt, and he could be reborn to a time when he was younger, healthy, happy, his cast iron stomach back and puggish appetite back so he could be the shape a pug is meant to be which is barrel shaped. Multum in parvo, much in little, a big dog in a small package, true of every pug I’ve ever known and certainly true of our Sasquatch.
144 comments
Ben cook
We just lost our piggies boy, only 7 years old, the pain is heart wrenching, my daughter is also named Trinity..
Angela Smith
I just shared this, again, for a friend.
Mikki Lewis
I’m so sorry that you had to say good-bye to Sas, but so very happy that you had that extra time with him. I’ve loved and lost and am loving again…and will lose again. And then I’ll do it all over again, because a house is not a home without at least one dog…and preferably at least 3, for me.
To Sasquatch, and to the love he inspired and the comfort he gave so selflessly. May your days across the Rainbow Bridge be carefree and happy ones. May you return to your Mama, if the Universe so decrees.
Christi Macaione
my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know what you’re going through. I had to put down my 2 sweet cats: Baby & Tigger. They were 16 yrs. old when they died. There is a website that has helped me a lot called Rainbow Bridge. it’s for people who have experienced a loss of a pet. https://rainbowsbridge.com/.
Susan Murden
So sorry for your loss. Dogs hold the harp strings to our hearts. They love unconditionally & always remember. I smile when I think of my big guy Bandit, he also had cancer. They said he had 6 – 9 mos, but it was weeks and I lay in the vets floor and held him to the end. I got one last lick and gave him a kiss. I miss so I have my little girl Cassiopeia. A 4lb YORKSHIRE TERRIER. She’s 13 this month & toothless. But feisty. I too dread the day when she’s no longer here for me. But know they’ll be waiting for us on the other side.
Anne M. Levingston
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved plug. I understand how heartbreaking the loss of a pet can be. I hope you find comfort in the wonderful memories you have if Sas and,when the time is right, I hope you will find another little pig to bring into your family. I have found my breed in Border Collies. Before they came into my life I liked dogs, but I only had cats, which I also love. We lost the female, Flossie, one day after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had developed acute kidney failure, which quickly worsened. There wasn’t anything the vet could really do to help asks we did not want her to suffer, like you with Sas. So we took her to the vet and took our time saying goodbye. Then, or vet administered the sedative ands cried with us as he gave her the final injection. You know an animal is special when the veterinarian cries at their passing.
We had another two years with the male, Laddie. He was an extraordinary creature. This February, somehow, he developed pancreatitis, even though he wasn’t the type to eat things he shouldn’t. He became ill on a Saturday,so we got him to the vet. They have us medication and sent us home. He was drinking water, but he wouldn’t touch food, so we has to being him back to stay at the hospital for more intensive treatment. He never made a sound to show that he was in pain and he would go outside with the vet to try to do his business even if he didn’t really want to. Wednesday night, the 2 vets on duty spent over 90 minutes with him before leaving and he gave no indication that anything was wrong. When they checked on him before leaving, he was lying peacefully in his crate. I had outpatient surgery the next morning, but was planning to see Laddie on my way home. I called the vet while I was in recovery only to find out that Laddie had gone sometime between when the bets left the previous night and when they can in the next morning.
I miss having at least one Border Collie in the house to get me at my bedside when I wake in the morning, or to marvel at because of some brilliant feat they have quickly accomplished. I certainly understand how you feel at not having one of YOUR BREED in your home after having them around for many years. I am definitely searching for one or two new Border Collies, but finding the right ones will take time.
Erika West
I am so sorry to hear about loosing your little guy. I know that is never an easy decision to make and working in a vet clinic I get to be there as support for pet parents during these times and it is never easy. I hope that you all get some peace in knowing that he is no longer suffering and always remember all of the best times he had.
Cathy Greer
I know the great loss you have experienced. There are no words adiquite enough to give such confort at a time like this. It’s been twice now, for me. I have had two marvelous companions in my life and I never expected to have a second one. My first “breed” was a St. Bernard. He was a member of our family and went everywhere with me, including flying to California for one year stints twice. He liked camping out with us as well. I had him from one year old to his final days around 12 years old. My second “breed” was a Golden Retriever ~ a true blessing for a second time around. He was my life! I had him from the time he was 5 months old till last September 2, 2014, almost a year ago. He was 13 years old. My grief went on forever it seemed. I still miss him terribly, but with joyful memories more so than tears these days. I can’t possibly even hope to have a 3rd companion that means so much to me, but I will try again. soon. I CAN tell you it will be a Golden Retriever though. Absolutely the best dog in the world, in my opinion. The pain of loss is great, but what they give you in return is so worth it when it’s time to let go. I miss my boy so much. Every now and then I read the notes I took of his little antics and it puts a smile on my face ~ every time. May you be bless with peace at this time of loss.
Angela
I just lost my 15.5 year old chihuahua today who was always my best friend and cherished companion. Lola brought sunshine to my days and now that she is gone I can barely brave the heartache. This first night I ache with the loneliness of her not being at the foot of my bed. And she was always, always by my side.
I am sorry to hear of your loss as well. We also have other dogs but Lola was my special girl.
The vet was so kind to say that she knows we will see each other again and all I can do is pray that is so.
Wishing you love and light .
Renee McCartin
Words don’t help, so just know i’m sending mental hugs and love. . have had pets 25 yrs on my own, and it never freaking gets easy. . run swift Sas!
Tim McCanna
I have been a big fan of both the Anita Blake and Merry Gentry series. While I am not a “dog” person I know how it is to fall in love with the Maine Coon breed of cats, sometimes known as the dogs of the cat world. What I’m trying to clumsily say, is that I have fallen for a number of Maine Coons and their loveliness was worth every bit of pain I felt at their passing. I am truly sorry for your loss.
-Tim
Jann
My heart breaks for you. I cried and cried while reading this, knowing the pain and heartache loosing one of our loved ones brings. I hope you can find a peace in knowing he had a wonderful life. I’m not religious, but I hope there is somewhere for our four footed family members to go. <3
BLH
I have had to put down many of my dear animal friends, it is so hard that they spend so little time on this planet. I cherish all the memories. Cats, Thai, Zeus, Caesar. Dogs, Willie, Jake, Kaiser. I loved them all.
Cindi Farris
I too know how you feel and so am sending good wishes to you and your house. Thank you for rescuing.
Amy Marquez
I’m so sorry I know how it is to lose your best friend. What a hole in your heart and your life each pet you have is completely different. There are no words to help make you feel better a million hugs. Hopefully we will all be together again one day.
Kay
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. There are no words for when you loose a member of the family, my cocoa passed in my 2005 he was the dog I grew up with literally he was my responsibility and partner in crime since first grade. I will pray for his family he left behind.
Christina Armieri
I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and may God (or Goddess) continue to comfort you and your family in your time of need. Our loved ones will watch over us and wait for our arrival, when we will be together again. God bless you all.
Laura
I am sorry; I’ve lost a cat to old age and illness and it broke my heart. I don’t have the room or time that a dog needs or I’d have brought home a doggie to love already. But I think, after reading this, perhaps part of the reason I’m putting it off, even though right now my reasons are very valid, is because I’ve dealt with enough loss this past year and change and I just can’t see standing up to face any more, willingly, any time soon.
But I also know one day I will have more space and more time to devote to a dog and I will follow through and get one. As another of my favorite authors put it in a book “Be brave enough to break your own heart”-Jacqueline Carey
Kris
Thank you for this, I lost my Penny Pie to Breast and Lung Cancer on July 20th when we knew it was time to make choices that were hard on the heart but for her comfort.
If ever a dog embodied a proud Southern Lady, it was Penny. I will miss both her gentleness and her toughness.
Heidi
I am so sorry for your loss. The timing is odd because I have to make that phone call to the vet this week. My baby is 14 and suffering. Even through your grief, you have no idea the strength you’ve given me, now and through these years past. I survived a severe domestic violence situation and managed to get my 3 kids out as well. We were to be executed on Memorial Day, the last day of school 9 years ago. It may sound trite, but Anita and all of her dysfunctional extended family were with me all the way. When I could escape into her world, it made me stronger and gave me hope. While well worn, I still have my Anita collection. I just wanted to thank you for loaning me courage when I most needed it. My prayers and sympathy to you and yours.
Blessed be,
HD
Cindi Farris
Heidi, you are an amazing woman and I am so thankful to hear you survived such a horrible attack; now you have to be strong again and I’m sorry for it. Peace be with you!
Dawn
I’m sorry for your loss. Pets occupy a special place in our lives, and losing one is always hard.
Jackie Evans
I am so sorry for your loss, my breed is Toy Poodle I lost my Dylan just before last Christmas he was 19. I have been very blessed in that my last 2 dogs have both been 19 when they left the family. I know what you mean about making the choice I had to make it for the last 2 of mine Dylan and the one before him Misty, are you just medicating them for you because you don’t want them to go? I have Paddy still with me and he is 10 still running and playing like a pup, but still 10. I hate it when people who have lost a dog say they are not having another dog as its to painful when they pass. What does that say about this animal that has given you unconditional love for years where they not worth a little pain and grief. I think that if you have more then one dog in the family it does make it a little easier as the house is not so empty and you don’t feel so lost but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less or that you don’t miss them. that is just my opinion, my thoughts are with you and your family.
Laurie
Sending comforting prayers. Even though it is true that knowing your pug isn’t hurting anymore, these painful goodbyes steal the comfort from simple truths. Sad day indeed.
LeeMerrick
My heart breaks for you and yours. Sasquatch had a great life and was clearly well loved. I hope you find comfort in your memories and the knowledge there’s no more pain for your pug.
Joy
So sorry for your loss. I have held babies while the vet helped them on their journey to the Rainbow Bridge. My Poodle, Charlie, is an oldendog too. He will be 17 the end of August. He wears a weenie wrap because he has trouble with incontinence. Sasquatch is running free at the Rainbow Bridge like he was that puppy again waiting for the time when you join him.
Trisha
Oh I am so sorry, I know it’s hard but he is in a much better place now.
Caisey Hoffman
I’m so sorry for your loss. He’s over the bridge waiting for you. He’s pain free, and doesn’t know a bad day anymore. I know how much it hurts to lose one. It’s been almost two years since we lost our last German Shepard, Kinder. She was a Christmass present for my dad, though she came to claim and love us all. After my half Shepard passed over; whom I had from the moment she was born until she hung on to say goodbye until I returned from overseas; Kinder was never the same dog. She had lost her best friend/mother. She fought hard till the end not wanting to leave us without another Shepard to keep us. We’ve been dog less since; I haven’t had the strength to get another dog yet (I had lost my Husky through my divorce). I still hear empty echos and look for those ears and tail. It never gets easier but I hope your loss is soothed by those still in your house. And who knows, Sas may send you a dog when you least expect it.
Sand
Dog speed Sas. RIP.
Beth Fralix
So sorry for the loss of your FurBaby, Sas! I have a Porky & a Chihuahua that are my FurBaby & shadows. Thank you for sharing your life with us! Our prayers are with you all! Love, Light, God Bless & Love You Bunches!!!
Cea
Sasquatch will be waiting for you when your time has come, The Rainbow Bridge isn’t just for animals but for those who loved them and were loved in returned. I’m sorry your friend’s time came but he went in your arms, smelling your scent knowing only that home was where he was. Blessings for his final journey and for your family both 2 and 4 legged while you learn to live without Sasquatch..
Raven
My Drake is 14. He is a chihuahua/terrier mix and he is the dog. We have 6 more but he’s the one. Also had him from a puppy. I cried so hard for what you went through. ::HUGS:: Thank you for sharing a little of your Sas with us.
Raven
Annette Greene
May you see Sas in the Summerlands! My heart aches for your lossand I couldn’t stop tears from flowing down my cheeks. I have been where you are more than a few timesand I, too, also held my fur children as they passed. My sincerest sympathies to you and your household.
Desiree
On St. Patrick’s Day this year, our beloved Mocha took his last breath. The day before my son, who is five and spent his whole life with Mocha, laid down as he always did beside Mocha to get kisses. I knew the end was coming when Mocha would no longer kiss him, I got out the camera and snapped their last picture together cuddling. It had been almost a week with me trying to get him to eat and finally he refused even water and would not move. Just before my mom came home from work he looked up at me as if to say goodbye and laid his head back down. Not even ten minutes later my mother came home touched him, called his name and told me he was gone. I understand how you feel and hope that you’ve found peace even with missing Sas now. I hope that your family well.
Linda O'Guynn
My heart goes out to you. I had to put our chow retriever down because of her age and cancer and it broke my heart. We now have two rescue pugs and when the time comes for them I don’t know what I’ll do – they are my drooling, snoring, snorting lil buddies
Alexias
So very sorry for your loss, Laurell, Jon and Trinity. I’m glad that you all got to spend time with Sas before he passed, and that you all have each other, and Spike and Gen, to share the sorrow. You’ll run with him in the Summerlands again someday. Big hugs!
Ruth
All love no matter how big or small should be enjoyed, and cherished. And it’s loss mourned. I hope the love he left keeps filling your hearts, always.
Chrys
I’m sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, though mine was a cat. I lost him after nine years, had him from the age of 7 until 16. He was lost to Kidney disease and was my first ‘pet’, he was my best friend so I never consider him a pet. My family and I then lost my dad’s cat back in 12. She died of kidney disease, but hers was quicker due to the fact that she only had one working kidney to begin with.
They do leave their marks on us. But, I also feel that they watch over us and when the time is right, they will point us where we need to be or who we need. I now have two others that I’m certain my cat pointed me to, but he’ll always be there. And I know that Sasquatch is in a better place and will still be watching over you.
Nokomis
I like to say that everyone has their “legendary dog”. The dog in their lives to whom all other dogs are measured against and found wanting. Mine was a black lab named Shardik. Years later just thinking of him can bring tears to my eyes. I’m sure some day I’ll have another dog who is a part of my family as he was, but I can’t imagine that dog can be such as Shardik.
Syreeta
So sorry for your loss, we have recently lost to fur babies in a year and its like ripping stitches out with no pain meds raw and powerful. I always say when they are here they give us a piece of their soul, when they leave they take a piece of ours with them.
♡~Syreeta
Ruth Cruise
I am so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to lose a furchild. I recently had to put down my girl we rescued as a puppy. She was a mutt not a pug. She lived to 18 years when I had to made the decision. Her liver stopped working. So, remember all the love your baby provided to you in those times you miss him.
Shelby
I came to your page today to find the reading order for your books. What greeted me instead was a sad, heart wrenching blog, that made me sad and happy all at the same time.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I also belong to the Pugdom and have been blessed to be loved by two Pugs in my adult life. The first gave me the same experience you’ve had to go through and so I know all too well the pain you are feeling. Pugs are a special breed. They were bred to love and bring happiness to those around them. And it sounds like Sas was one of the best at his job. You were a lucky woman to have the love of a great Pug.
Anne
Hugs so glad that you could all be there to say good bye even just catching the small snippets of your life you share i knew he had been a big part or your life when my hubby told me and just wanted to share hugs with you all.
Kris Pennington
Not a dry eye as I read about your loss… My most sincere and heartfelt blessings to you and your entire family… I always say *paw prints in your heart*… Sas will always be with you… Never forget that, they come into our lives and capture our hearts and mind… But they are always there someway…
Blessed Be
Teresa
My sympathies and lots of hugs. It wasn’t a dog that broke my heart but a horse. It was a 32 year love affair that ended far too soon in March. Much like with your boy, there was not feeling well and picky eating and then no eating at all. Final diagnosis out of everything said renal failure and I knew where the line was that I would not cross. His ashes are in my living room, where he would have loved to have been in a tin that makes me laugh. We are all better off for knowing and loving an animal in ways that loving another human just can’t not replace.
AngelRN
Laurell I am so sorry 4 u & ur families loss. We lost a 3 of our “kids”, 2 dogs & a Turkish cat) inside of a yr & it was devestating so much so that we still haven’t gotten anymore pets in 2 years, we needed time to grieve. We still miss Katy, Benny, & Tommy but they r forever in our hearts. Look up the rainbow bridge in Google & it is a really nice poem/essay that may comfort you (it did me). Again, condolences & love on those wonderful Chins!!
Kate
I’m so sorry for you Laurel. I am a Corgi person, and my current companion Argus-the-Wonder-Dog is 17 years and 9 months old. I dread not only saying goodbye, but my biggest fear is that my desire to keep him with me might mean that I don’t let him go when I should. I hope I can be as brave as you are. Farewell Sas, we’ve loved reading about you.
Meghann
My heart is breaking for you all. I’m glad though, that Sas isn’t hurting anymore. I’ve said goodbye to a few furry family members over the years. It never gets easier. My thoughts are with you all.
Tracey L Clark
I finished your story, with tears in my eyes, as I stared at my two pug babies asleep on my office floor. At 34, I have been a pug owner for 22 years, and each lose broke my heart. From evil neighbors that drive too fast, to cancer that sneaks into their system to poison their love of food, to heart problems that steal their energy. I have been blessed to be able to face each lose in my own home. Words can not express how sorry I am that your family had to make this decision. A decision that cuts to the heart as painfully as weather or not the plug should be pulled on our human peoples. Our puggie peoples deserve the same respect and caring that those bi-pedal loved ones get. You are a strong woman to face this moment of pain. From personal experience, I have always found that a new pug added to my life helps to ease the tears. My new babies have never replaced the one I lost, but they had managed to heal a part of the whole left behind. They are the reason I can smile, though little reminders can still bring me to my knees. And as a person with Multiple Sclerosis, they help to keep the stress in my life to a minimum and force me to get out of bed, on those days that feel like ignoring the world would be a good idea. I am glad that you at least have other dogs around, and so sorry that you have lost one of your four-legged peoples.
Zara
I’m so sorry for your loss. I recently lost my staffy to cancer a couple of weeks ago, and miss her terribly. Been in floods of tears reading your good bye to your beautiful boy. It struck a chord in my heart made me remember my beautiful girl. Your right though regardless how many dogs you have and I only had the 2 the house feels empty without them I still miss her claws clicking against the wooden floors, I miss being happy to come home to her and her big grunty cuddles no other dog sounds the same as a staffy. But like you we can take solace in the fact they are happy once again. Thank you for sharing your experience it was very brave and although I’m in tears now, it’s good too think about her cuz the good times make me smile so thank you.
Rayven
I am so very sorry you’ve lost your buddy. I agree with you. Everytime a friend leaves, they take a piece of your heart with them. We are going through EXACTLY what you did, right now. We have a very old, half St Bernard. She’s 15 which we’ve been told is way old for that type of dog. Got her when she was just ready to leave her Mother. She’s been a huge help to me and didn’t really even have to train her. I have physical issues. When I was in my garden and got stuck and couldn’t get up, I could always rely on her to get up and come over and allow me to use her as a kind of crutch, to get up. She’s been an amazing friend to the family. We have to lift her to get her up now, her hips and back legs don’t work well. The bathroom issues are being taken care of about the same as your little Sas’es were. We know there are no more weeks left, it’s down to days. And she’s going to for sure, break our hearts when she goes, so I do know personally every word you said was true. Anja isn’t “our breed”, we’ve had several different kinds. Loved them all, broken hearted when they left. When the time is right, get another pug. Your Sas would not want you pugless