Thank you all for your words of kindness. So many people linked simply by computer. So many I have never met. Yet you share my grief and your prayers and thoughts mean the world to me and my family. Words are not adequate to say what I feel, thank you. Thank you so very much.
Some have asked about the coverage that was mentioned. You can find it at www.myfoxstl.com, enter Cooney in the search box. The first link has a text and the sidebar has video. Though it is still too difficult for me to watch.
Darla
Author: Jonathon
Thank you.
I wanted to say thank you! Thank you to all my friends, both on line and off, who have sent condolences, flowers and donations to the trust fund for my niece and nephew. Your outpouring of sympathy has meant a lot to me and my family. Thank you Laurell and Jon, for all you did this week. Thank you for standing with me. Offering me a hand or a hug when I needed it most. Thank you Pili and Carri for dinner and your friendship. Thank you Bill and Jet for hand holding. Thank you to all the folks I knew so long ago who made time to come by and remind me of childhood stories. Some of which I would like to forget!
A special thanks to the entire St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department and all the officers from all the departments everywhere who came out. Their unending and tireless acts during this difficult time made it more bearable. From turning out enmasse at the funeral home, sharing their memories of Rob with us, giving us moments to laugh at some antic they remembered, kind words that were meant with heart, sharing our tears, standing honor guard, to the less obvious things, like cleaning off the sidewalk before the family got there. We noticed those little things, as well as the larger ones. Our gratitude to you all!
When they say that an officer is a brother or sister in blue. They truly mean it and demonstrate it. So I offer this wish to them all on behalf of Rob and us all. May you have a long and safe career. May you have a long and glorious retirement. Don’t forget to enjoy the moments of your life. Rob did. And we will remember not only him, but also you in our prayers. Thank you.
Darla
Lt. Robert Cooney 1964-2008

On Tuesday, February 19, 2008, Lieutenant Robert J. Cooney, Commander of the Mobile Reserve Unit was off-duty when he fell off the roof of his home. He was taken to Barnes-Jewish Hospital where he was pronounced dead due to injuries suffered in the fall. Lieutenant Cooney was 43 years old and a 19 year veteran of the Department. He is survived by his wife, a 13 year old daughter and a 10 year old son. A trust fund has been set up for the family of Lt. Robert J. Cooney. Contributions can be mailed to:
Cooney Trust Fund
AG Edwards/Wachovia Corp.
10369 Clayton Rd.
St. Louis, MO 63131
or call Karen Webb at 314-991-7848
The family has requested that donations be made to the trust in lieu of flowers.
Rob was Laurell’s Police Expert for what was real for St. Louis. His help was instrumental in getting things right, especially in "Incubus Dreams". He will be missed.
Sad news
I’ve thought for two days about what to put in this blog. I finally realized that sometimes it’s not about inspriation, just facts.
Darla’s brother, Rob, died yesterday.
He leaves behind a wife and two children.
Tomorrow Jon will help me put up some links with more information. For tonight, just a note to let you guys know why you haven’t heard anything here for a day or so. This is one of those moments when words don’t seem enough.
Happy Presidents’ Day, and a little guilt
It’s taken me all day to get four pages. I listened to HAIRSPRAY, then switched to 1776. When I’ve had to try two different musicals it’s been a hard day. My muse and I are tired for some reason.
It’s also Presidents’ Day, which is a combination holiday celebrating Lincoln and Washington’s birthdays. It meant that Trinity was off school, and though I had help to take her to a movie, and other things, no one could help with the guilt. I’d hoped to finish my pages in the morning and then Jon and I could have taken her to the movie ourselves, but the morning was totally unproductive. Totally.
My job is so hard to plan around. Some glorious days I get my pages done in two hours or less. Some days it takes six to eight hours to get the same number of pages. How do I plan around something that can vary that much?
Answer, you don’t, you can’t. Most parents didn’t even have the option to take part of the day off and do something with the kids. So, really, there’s nothing different between me and hundreds of other working parents except that Trinity sees me popping into the kitchen, and having to do comic stuff on the computer, and . . . it’s just harder to explain that really you are working when you’re working out of your home. But I am, and I was, and when this blog is done, I’m done for the day. And I’m ready to be done for the day. God, this was a slog of a day, like walking through thigh deep mud, but I did it. I have my pages, I have my progress, now I am out of here.
Granite City APA Plea For Help!
One of our favorite animal charities sent this along. This is one of those times when even a $1 will make a difference. So if you can, please help!
Dear Animal Lovers
We are asking, rather begging, at this point for your help. Our shelter is financially in very critical shape and in grave danger of closing. Our small membership continues to raise funds through every means possible, but its not enough. We need more members, we need more volunteers, but most of all, we need donations.
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Granite City Animal Shelter in Dire Need of Donations
Those of you, who feel as we do when… you’re handed a dog with a 50lb tow chain embedded in his neck for so long that when it was removed he can no longer hold his head up… when two cats are dropped off so infested with fleas that they have scratched their own eyes out… the Akita that was beaten with a 2×4 daily for discipline… Sweat Pea, a bait dog for dog fighting with such a grossly scarred face it was hard to look at… or a skeletal 75lb Great Dane unable to stand who was being starved to see how long it would take him to die!
These horror stories are the facts of daily shelter cases! Where as other shelters may have deemed them lost causes, we are happy to report ALL of these animals were given medical care and love are now living happily in their own homes!
Our shelter successfully adopted out over 600 healthy, happy dogs and cats last year and we hope to always be able to continue our good work. This task becomes more and more overwhelming as the stray, ill and unwanted animal population continues to grow as our economy becomes more pinched.
As much of the public is unaware, being a “NO KILL” shelter restricts our shelter to private donations for all the operating costs to maintain our facility. Because we chose to heal, reform and love our critters rather than euthanize them, we are unable and do not qualify for city, state or government funding.
Daily operations require heat, electricity, water, telephones, enormous amounts of foods, cleaning products, office supplies but foremost preventative medicines, operations (such as spays and neuters) and vet bills to rehabilitate and cure those animals that have come to us in the worst possible shape.
For these “rejected, unhealthy and unloved animals” we ask for your pennies, dimes and dollars. We are a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. Though every puppy lick and kitty purr is worth a million to us! Please consider ANY donation a step toward our future and continued success. HELP! HELP! HELP! AND MUCH THANKS!
Click Here to Become a Guardian Angel
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Granite City Newspaper Article Excerpt – No kill shelter may be headed for the doghouse
By Marissa Vickers
Wednesday, February 6, 2008 8:20 AM CST
The Granite City Association for the Protection of Animals, a no-kill shelter, is in desperate need of donations if the facility is to remain open.
Several renovations have taken or are taking place at the shelter thanks to contributions, however, those monies are specific to the remodeling and refurbishing, and it’s the operating costs that are draining the resources.
“Our operating funds were down all of last year, like, ridiculously down,” said Lisa Confer, vice president of the APA. “We’re not getting the donations. “We don’t want to lose it. We’re trying to do anything we can. We just need more support from the community and I know a lot of people don’t know about us.”
Part of the problem with not having enough money is due to the fact that the APA is a no-kill shelter. Because of this reason, the shelter is ineligible for state or federal funding.
“That’s the problem — if we would promise to euthanize them we’d have to agree to keep them for X amount of days and then put them down, and we refuse to do that,” said Nancy Hall, president of the APA.
“We get no state or federal (funding) because we’re no-kill — not one dime. We refuse to become a kill shelter just to get state and federal funding.”
Hall said the only time the APA will put an animal to sleep is if it is too vicious, therefore, unable to be put up for adoption, or if the animal is sick and nothing can be done to help it.
At any one time there are approximately 75 pets waiting for adoption. Some have been there for months, other for years.
Hall said the monthly operating costs are quite high, as they do have paid employees.
“At a bare minimum our operating expenses are very large. I’m venturing to say between $18,000 and $20,000 a month — that’s for vet bills, utilities, heat, telephones, water, medications, food — just the everyday things you have to have,” Hall said.
She also explained that to wash the bedding for the pets is practically a fulltime job in itself. The APA has an industrial sized washer and dryer that Hall said are both going non-stop.
Hall admitted she is surprised by the fact that most of the facility’s donations don’t even come from the APAs hometown of Granite City.
“They come from Missouri,” she said. “Maybe the people in Granite, or this area, don’t realize how much we rely on the donations. (But) I realize times are hard for everybody.”
“We probably have enough for three months, but then after that, everything would be gone, we’d have nothing to fall back on. If we could get most of the operating expenses from donations then we wouldn’t have to take as much” from the emergency funds, Hall said.
“I’m absolutely fearful we’re going to shut down. If we can’t meet our operating expenses we’re going to shut down.”
According to their Web site, www.gcapa.org, $5 will feed a cat for a month, $10 will feed a dog, $15 will provide rabies shot for one animal, $500 will pay for a major surgery for one animal, and several other services at varying dollar amounts are listed in between.
Moreover, volunteers are needed as well.
To donate time or some much-needed money, please log onto their website, www.gcapa.org, or mail donations to Granite City APA, P.O. Box 1311, Granite City, IL 62040. The phone number is (618) 931-7030
The shelter is located at 5000 Old Alton Road down the street from the Knights of Columbus Hall.
Please Donate Now
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You may donate on-line at www.gcapa.org or by mail at:
Association for the Protection of Animals
P.O. Box 1311
Granite City, IL. 62040
Darla
Casual sex?
I’m over a hundred and fifty pages into Merry #7. Yea!
There’s something about hitting 150 that makes the book seem like it’s really going to be a book. I’ve done books where a hundred pages in, and I realized it wasn’t soup yet, not done enough to write. But 150, means it’s a book, it’s a story, and it’s moving.
I’ve been listening to the musical HAIRSPRAY for the last few days. It has my new favorite love song on it. (You’re) Timeless to Me is a song about real love. The kind of love that lasts through the years. Most love songs are about the beginning part. They’re about lust, infatuation, and the first getting to know you part of love. That’s my least favorite part of love, and certainly I hated first dates. I was never one of those people who found the first conversations, the first moments the most exciting. I’ve always been more into relationships once I really know a person. I guess that’s why a lot of my friends are ten years or even twenty and counting. Jon and I are about the celebrate eight years as a couple, seven married. It just gets better.
I’ve had men tell me there’s no way to date me and be casual. I have to make it so important that the friendship is on the line if it goes south. Well, yeah?
Why would I want to be with someone if I didn’t feel they were my friend first? The fact that I don’t understand casual dating, and feel that sex is very emotional and a commitment of sorts, is probably why Merry and Anita have collected so many men. If I could understand casual sex then they could, too. But I don’t, understand it. I was raised that my body was important, and a gift to be shared. Your body and your mind are who you are. So, why would you share your body with someone who doesn’t want your mind, too? If you can’t talk to someone, and enjoy each other’s company, then why have sex? Good sex, no, great sex, is about communication and being able to ask for what you want in bed, and have your partner be able to ask the same.
Great sex is often messy, awkward, and would not film well. It’s about being comfortable enough to try a position that may not work at all, but you’ve got to have a level of comfort and trust to risk looking silly in bed. The best love making often ends in shared laughter. Can you share laughter with a stranger? Can you be yourself with someone you don’t know? The answer for me has always been, no. But then, as more than one man over the years has said, “You’re serious as a heart attack about everything.”
Damn straight.
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One day until Valentine’s Day
Not a sentence to my name today. Couldn’t settle my thoughts enough, and this afternoon I’m taking Jon to part of his Valentine’s Day present; a spa day. Part of the present is that I go with him. In our typical fashion as a couple Jon loves being pampered, and I hate it. The ladies at the spa tell us that it’s usually the oppisate. Go fig.
So, I’m all dressed up in a skirt, even, boots, the whole nine yards. I’m off to play wife and girl. The wife I can do, but sometimes I’m not so comfy with the girl part. But tomorrow is V-Day, and for all those other spouses out there, I sympathize with that sometimes frantic rush to get the right gift, the right event, the right mood, so your sweetie ends the day happy.
Why am I the one planning the day? Jon and I have a deal. I do Valentine’s Day, and he does my birthday, because they are only days a part. I made my first husband do both. Honestly I didn’t understand how taxing it is for a guy to come up with two big events within days of each other. I realize now that if my ex hit Valentine’s day well, he was doomed for my birthday, because he seldom came up with two gifts, two events, two whatevers that were equally nifty. He must have struggled for years, with me oblivious. When Jon and I got together I suggested the deal. So, I do V-Day, and he does B-day.
I think what made it ocurr to me was that when Jon and I were dating, I did events for him. Like take him a picnic lunch to his office when he had to pull an all-nighter. I sent him flowers at work, poetry. He loved it, but it put me in the position that is more typically male. It let me know just how hard you men have been working over the years to make the women in your lives happy.
I tried some of this with my first husband, but it wasn’t his cup of tea. It made him uncomfortable. Jon took all the attention I could lavish on him. I liked that.
Early to the desk, gets the page count done
At the desk by 7:17 this morning. Why so early?
We have allergy shots, and we’ve missed the last two weeks. One because we were out of town, and the second because I was trying to make pages. So, in the interest of health, I got up way early and dragged my butt to the desk.
I’ve got my pages for the day. It’s my minimum, but it’s still pages, and progress. So, there you go. I’ll finish this up and we’ll be off for shots. Though, there does seem something vaguely wrong with working so hard to go do something so unfun. But though I hate the shots, I love the results.
But getting to the desk when it was still mostly dark has inspired me to find you guys some quotes from other writers who think early to the desk is a good idea.
“It is by sitting down to write every morning that one becomes a writer. Those who do not do this remain amateurs.”
Gerald Brenan
“Get up early and get going at once, in fact, work first and wash afterwards.”
W. H. Auden
“The best regimen is to get up early, insult yourself a bit in the shaving mirror, and then pretend you’re cutting wood.”
Lawrence Durrell
Do bear in mind that every writer is different. Some do honestly work better at night. I worked at night when Trinity was a baby, because the whole household was finally asleep. As she grew older, and I changed households (okay, changed husbands, so the routine changed), I began to work to suit school hours, so I’d be done when she got home from school. Which means you work like a son of a bitch when the kids are in school, because once they hit the door you are cooked. Unless you stay up late, after the tykes are in bed. Sleep deprivation is a real constant for most writers with kids. Okay, most women writers. There are more and more men that take over the child care, but it’s still mainly a woman’s role. Where is that equality when we need it? My morning session was only made possible by the fact that Jon made sure Trinity got breakfast, and all that ready for school stuff. If I hadn’t had help, then I’d have got to the desk at least an hour later.
When I was working full time in corporate America, I rose at 5 A. M., wrote for an hour, then got ready for work. I am not a morning person, but it was the only time I would do it reliably. After eight hours, or more, at the desk job, I was too fried to write in the evening. Find what works for you.